I wrote this for my Augustinian Culture Seminar Class (ACS) and was amazed by my work.
Augustine:
“Well, I do have some things to say about you. I will save the obvious one for last. I like your ideas on education; I feel that you have the right idea about how education should not be forced upon people. There is no use for bombarding the student with information. Secondly, I also agree that people need to be as productive as possible. Even though you believe that people need to be productive in manners other than religion, it is good that you see that people these days are extremely unproductive. I also agree that evil needs to be punished whenever possible, especially when people start trending towards evil. Now even though I agreed with you on the previous topics, I have to strongly disagree with your viewpoint on religion. I am, of course, a devoted catholic, as should you be. God is the greatest being in all of the heavens, and the fact that you question His existence is appalling. How can you deny the fact that all that you see before you was created by God, and His good work? The world was created in seven days because it says so in the bible. The Earth is the center of the universe, as it says so in the bible. All you people ever want are facts, and refuse to ever take anything on faith. The bible is the word of God and needs to be treated as such. To read it as you would any book is blasphemy!”
Me:
“I am in fact much like you. On nearly all topics, we will agree, all topics except religion. When you were my age, you were far worse off than I am now. You believed in a religion similar to that of paganism, and yet you have become a saint! I must first make myself clear when I say where I stand on the topic of religion. If there is a God, he created the universe, created the laws of physics, and that is it. Even if he does exist, he has no role in our universe anymore. There are countless things in the bible, whether it is about our creation or otherwise, that have been proven completely false by the scientific method. The Earth was not created in seven days; it was made over the course of hundreds of thousands of years by the compiling of debris leftover from a super-massive star that exploded, leaving the elements that we have on Earth. The Earth is also not the center of the universe, as your little buddy Galileo started to point out. He and the pope never really got along after that. We are nowhere special in the universe, we are near the edge of our own galaxy, around one of the most average stars imaginable, and yet your precious bible claims that we are the center of the universe! That is an extremely ignorant thing to believe. We have the evidence that proves you wrong, it is your turn to come up with a rebuttal, but you find that you cannot, as your bible cannot answer these questions. It will only spit out memorable sayings, whether they are accurate or not. Yes, it is a bit more romantic to say that the Earth was created in seven days, and on the seventh day God placed his greatest creation, man, on Earth. We have evolved from the single cell organisms from the bottom of the seas. Those cells grew into aquatic life, which eventually moved onto land, and created mammals, which eventually mutated in the Cro-Magnon species. They eventually evolved into Homo-Erectus, us. We were not placed here by the hand of God; we were bombarded by genetic altering solar radiation until we had thumbs and a brain large enough to know how to use them. The bible was not written by God, it was written by his supposed followers. You cannot confirm that the people writing this were even sane! For someone to believe such nonsense is amazing to me. There is no way that I believe that a band of Jews were able to escape the Egyptians by parting the Red Sea, and then survived the wrath of the desert for decades. For all that matters, Moses could have been a schizophrenic maniac that wanted to paint the doors of the city with animal blood! If someone were to do this today, they would be sent to a mental institution immediately, and indefinitely. The bible is a fun story, but that’s it, a story, and nothing more than that.”
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Self Reflections and Analysis
I know that I haven't posted anything for a while, but that's mainly because I haven't had a philosophical moment in quite a while (which is usually when I make these things). I figured I was due for one. I apologize if this post seems a little choppy, I'm only writing it as it comes to mind.
I often question my existence, why am I here, what is my purpose, and so on. I always come up with the answer that I am insignificant, in nearly every way that I can think of. From the perspective of the cosmos, and the perspective of the individual, there is nothing truly that remarkable about any of us. Some people may be world leaders, others mechanics (its ironic how in modern times we classify people based on their vocation!), and yet they will have the same fate: die after a few miserable years, and be forgotten. The only part of us that will remain are the very atoms that make up our body, and yet even that will cease to exist after the Big Rip. Why should any of us even bother trying if no matter what happens, we know that we will fail? That, I cannot answer. I cannot even begin to think of a reason. All that comes to mind are various movie plots where people take on completely hopeless tasks yet it somehow all works out in the end, and they all live happily ever after. Life is not like that though. There are no happily ever afters, people don't pull out of hopeless situations every time they want to.
Earlier today I remembered something that happened to me on September 13th, 2007, at about 7:30pm. (I remember the date so well as it was my birthday dinner at Gordon Biersch, I had the ribeye steak with gorgonzola, it was unimpressive). There was my mom, grandma, grandpa, uncle, and his wife. I had been thinking about writing my book, but had not fully developed my ideas yet, only that I knew it would be based on Communism if I were to write it. I was going to tell everyone there of my intentions, but before I could do that, my aunt-in-law (if that's what she's supposed to be called, I don't know) got into an argument with the rest of the people there about her mom. I just sat in the corner and listened to the entire thing, not able to change the subject, or even get in a word. It's kinda funny though that just earlier this year I found out how much of a republican she is. If I told her I would write a book about Communism in anything other than comparing it to Satan, she would probably have me taken out back and shot. Now I think to myself, what if that argument never happened? Where would I be today? I'm not really sure actually. Most likely not attending school here, that's for sure. Probably at some state school, majoring in the useful art of Communications (that's just for you, Aaron!). The ideas presented would not have had the opportunity to fester in my mind if my hopes of writing a new book had been shattered that night.
Another interesting night was back when I was still in elementary school. My mom was seeing somebody back then, I hated him, and he hated me. It was doomed from the beginning. I was the lump on a log back then, not destined to be anything had I continued on that path. I would have been lucky to exit high school with a 2.0. One night I was her boyfriend watching something on TV. It looked mildly interesting, something about state prisons I think. A few years later, well after they had broken up (I never knew what happened to him, and have only since realized he was an African Oil mogul, Capitalist scum of the earth in other words), there was nothing good on TV. I tried to find that one channel again, and found it to be the History Channel. I only watched part of the show they were airing, but I would return in a few years. Only then did I realize the importance of education. That was my first awakening, second being the subject of Communism.
I've been through alot in my life, alot more that people would think. I would eat dinner on the floor until I was about 14, as my house didn't have a table large enough to eat off of. Only recently did we get some tray tables, and only recently were we actually given the house from my grandparents (only so that my mom could mortgage it to do necessary repairs). All of their property that they have invested in has since gone down the drain when their children decided "I need a house, and you have a spare house, so you need to give it to me". How I despise such thinking. And yes, that is my family that I am referring to when I say that. It feels good to finally sit at a table when I eat food. It almost feels like I'm in a movie, the kind where the rich family has their large gathering at their mansion and they all eat at their huge table piled with food and decorations. That's what's going through my head when I eat dinner with the astro department. I look to my left, I look to my right, and I see people I know, all eating their dinner. It might not be a big deal to anyone else here, but it is for me, it is a big deal. It makes feel like my life has meaning here. That's why I don't ever get homesick, not since my first departmental meal. It's strange how important a few pieces of wood nailed together have been to me.
Music is going to be the downfall of me. Whenever I feel down about anything, I will go to my room and start listening to whatever kind of music I'm in the mood for (classical right now, Dvorak to be exact). That only makes it worse though. It provides temporary happiness, but is quickly overcome by the thoughts that put me there in the first place. I probably have some sort of mild depression, as it is difficult to come out of these stages of being once they have fully set in. All that I really ever want to be is happy, but I have no idea of how to achieve it. I can look at movies as a reference, but they either end up with the two main characters hooking up at the end, or everyone getting killed, or somewhere in between. Not that either of these two things would bring me happiness anyway (especially not the latter!). I look at other people here, cheering for their baseball teams, going to drinking parties, and doing as they wish. If I ask them if they're happy, the answer will in all likelihood be yes, they'll say they're having the time of their lives. But then I ask myself, why? Why do they think that they're happy? What is releasing the endorphins in their brain that is giving the illusion of happiness? Is it the complete disregard of logic and civilized culture and the complete and udder subordination to the will of their bodily desires? Most likely. Only if I worked that way as well, then at least I would think that I was happy. What's the matter with me? I'm a college student that spends his nights debating whether he is happy or not rather than actually going out to try to find happiness. I'm a person of all talk and no action. That's what it is. I spend so much time preparing for that day, that one day, far in the future where I am actually happy, that I'm not sure if that day will even come. If I could just press a button, and all my worries would go away, and I could be completely happy, would I push it? No. I would first debate by what mechanism it works, then factor in the risks and benefits of doing so, and eventually die of old age before coming to a conclusion. Most people would push the button immediately and without any hesitation. I envy those people. They have life figured out, that it is short and needs to be lived as happy as possible. I need to try this one day, where I just start walking in one direction and keep going. But what would I gain from this? Nothing, only the knowledge that I have yet failed again at trying the achieve our instinctive goals. Some days I just want to bash my head in, but some days I go to bed with a smile. Those days are few and far between though. I need more of those days in my life, or else one day I will bash my head in, leaving me with a terrible headache the next day. I wouldn't want that now, would I?
If you managed to make it through that, I congratulate you. You have successfully read my latest post. Thank you for reading.
09edwarc
I often question my existence, why am I here, what is my purpose, and so on. I always come up with the answer that I am insignificant, in nearly every way that I can think of. From the perspective of the cosmos, and the perspective of the individual, there is nothing truly that remarkable about any of us. Some people may be world leaders, others mechanics (its ironic how in modern times we classify people based on their vocation!), and yet they will have the same fate: die after a few miserable years, and be forgotten. The only part of us that will remain are the very atoms that make up our body, and yet even that will cease to exist after the Big Rip. Why should any of us even bother trying if no matter what happens, we know that we will fail? That, I cannot answer. I cannot even begin to think of a reason. All that comes to mind are various movie plots where people take on completely hopeless tasks yet it somehow all works out in the end, and they all live happily ever after. Life is not like that though. There are no happily ever afters, people don't pull out of hopeless situations every time they want to.
Earlier today I remembered something that happened to me on September 13th, 2007, at about 7:30pm. (I remember the date so well as it was my birthday dinner at Gordon Biersch, I had the ribeye steak with gorgonzola, it was unimpressive). There was my mom, grandma, grandpa, uncle, and his wife. I had been thinking about writing my book, but had not fully developed my ideas yet, only that I knew it would be based on Communism if I were to write it. I was going to tell everyone there of my intentions, but before I could do that, my aunt-in-law (if that's what she's supposed to be called, I don't know) got into an argument with the rest of the people there about her mom. I just sat in the corner and listened to the entire thing, not able to change the subject, or even get in a word. It's kinda funny though that just earlier this year I found out how much of a republican she is. If I told her I would write a book about Communism in anything other than comparing it to Satan, she would probably have me taken out back and shot. Now I think to myself, what if that argument never happened? Where would I be today? I'm not really sure actually. Most likely not attending school here, that's for sure. Probably at some state school, majoring in the useful art of Communications (that's just for you, Aaron!). The ideas presented would not have had the opportunity to fester in my mind if my hopes of writing a new book had been shattered that night.
Another interesting night was back when I was still in elementary school. My mom was seeing somebody back then, I hated him, and he hated me. It was doomed from the beginning. I was the lump on a log back then, not destined to be anything had I continued on that path. I would have been lucky to exit high school with a 2.0. One night I was her boyfriend watching something on TV. It looked mildly interesting, something about state prisons I think. A few years later, well after they had broken up (I never knew what happened to him, and have only since realized he was an African Oil mogul, Capitalist scum of the earth in other words), there was nothing good on TV. I tried to find that one channel again, and found it to be the History Channel. I only watched part of the show they were airing, but I would return in a few years. Only then did I realize the importance of education. That was my first awakening, second being the subject of Communism.
I've been through alot in my life, alot more that people would think. I would eat dinner on the floor until I was about 14, as my house didn't have a table large enough to eat off of. Only recently did we get some tray tables, and only recently were we actually given the house from my grandparents (only so that my mom could mortgage it to do necessary repairs). All of their property that they have invested in has since gone down the drain when their children decided "I need a house, and you have a spare house, so you need to give it to me". How I despise such thinking. And yes, that is my family that I am referring to when I say that. It feels good to finally sit at a table when I eat food. It almost feels like I'm in a movie, the kind where the rich family has their large gathering at their mansion and they all eat at their huge table piled with food and decorations. That's what's going through my head when I eat dinner with the astro department. I look to my left, I look to my right, and I see people I know, all eating their dinner. It might not be a big deal to anyone else here, but it is for me, it is a big deal. It makes feel like my life has meaning here. That's why I don't ever get homesick, not since my first departmental meal. It's strange how important a few pieces of wood nailed together have been to me.
Music is going to be the downfall of me. Whenever I feel down about anything, I will go to my room and start listening to whatever kind of music I'm in the mood for (classical right now, Dvorak to be exact). That only makes it worse though. It provides temporary happiness, but is quickly overcome by the thoughts that put me there in the first place. I probably have some sort of mild depression, as it is difficult to come out of these stages of being once they have fully set in. All that I really ever want to be is happy, but I have no idea of how to achieve it. I can look at movies as a reference, but they either end up with the two main characters hooking up at the end, or everyone getting killed, or somewhere in between. Not that either of these two things would bring me happiness anyway (especially not the latter!). I look at other people here, cheering for their baseball teams, going to drinking parties, and doing as they wish. If I ask them if they're happy, the answer will in all likelihood be yes, they'll say they're having the time of their lives. But then I ask myself, why? Why do they think that they're happy? What is releasing the endorphins in their brain that is giving the illusion of happiness? Is it the complete disregard of logic and civilized culture and the complete and udder subordination to the will of their bodily desires? Most likely. Only if I worked that way as well, then at least I would think that I was happy. What's the matter with me? I'm a college student that spends his nights debating whether he is happy or not rather than actually going out to try to find happiness. I'm a person of all talk and no action. That's what it is. I spend so much time preparing for that day, that one day, far in the future where I am actually happy, that I'm not sure if that day will even come. If I could just press a button, and all my worries would go away, and I could be completely happy, would I push it? No. I would first debate by what mechanism it works, then factor in the risks and benefits of doing so, and eventually die of old age before coming to a conclusion. Most people would push the button immediately and without any hesitation. I envy those people. They have life figured out, that it is short and needs to be lived as happy as possible. I need to try this one day, where I just start walking in one direction and keep going. But what would I gain from this? Nothing, only the knowledge that I have yet failed again at trying the achieve our instinctive goals. Some days I just want to bash my head in, but some days I go to bed with a smile. Those days are few and far between though. I need more of those days in my life, or else one day I will bash my head in, leaving me with a terrible headache the next day. I wouldn't want that now, would I?
If you managed to make it through that, I congratulate you. You have successfully read my latest post. Thank you for reading.
09edwarc
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