On Lonliness

As Easter Break comes to a close, I figure I should make another post before I am yet again swamped with work. I figure the subject of lonliness is an appropriate subject, as I have experienced a great deal of it during break. I feel that lonliness is not the proper word, however, as it has a negative connotation associated with it. There has been absolutely nothing negative about being alone during break. I suppose the proper word would be Peace, not Alone.

Ever since I can remember I have been alone in my struggles against the world. Very few would have supported me in my hour of need if it ever came down to that. I would always look forward to the hour or so that I would have after school when I could do as I wish because nobody was home but me. Those were wonderful days. Absolutely wonderful. Every once and a while school would be closed for whatever reason they could think of, so I would have the day off, just for me, and only including me. Those days were some of the best of my life. With the break that is about to finish, I can safely say that this is the case here as well. Yes, I did have some homework to do, but I could easily finish the most lengthy homework assignment in a day and still have plenty of time for Hearts of Iron. I expected to do a significant amount of contemplating various topics, but instead I gave my mind the weekend off. It deserves the break as much as I do.

One of the best things to come out of this break is being able to sleep without earplugs. Normally, I must sleep with them every night, as I generally go to bed around 11, just when people decide to start partying in my dorm. I'm fine with it w=though, the earplugs block most of the noise. If those people are destined to be Comm majors, then so be it. Lately, I've been going to bed around 1, and if that wasn't good enough, no earplugs! I'm on 3 days now, hoping for one more. But this lack of noise applies not only to night, but to the day as well. There is maybe one other person in the building that I sleep in (I say that I live in the Mendel Science Center, and sleep in my room). I'm sure he doesn't mind when I start playing my music at around 11, after I take my shower. I play it at about half volume, which for me is considered blasting. It makes me happy to be able to do that again. I missed that. I will miss the quiet once break is over, but I suppose I will also be happy to see people other than Jordan and Ron.

Thinking of what my break would have been like had I gone home, I realize that I made the right decision. I absolutely love the solitude here. I wish the break could have lasted longer. Had I gone home, I would have been constantly pestered by family to do various chores that they are simply too lazy to do if they could just outsource it to me. That is how it always is when I'm home. Every once and a while I actually get the opprotunity to sit down, but thats just when I'm able to lock myself in the bathroom.

This break has been by far better than any break that I could have at home, whether my mom would be at home or not. True, I have my baby at home, with all 8 of the intel i7 core processors and all 6 gigs of RAM and a 500 gig hard drive and a graphics card to kill for (yes, kill for. Not have someone be taken back out and shot for, but actually kill for) and the beautiful windows 7 operating system. I would gladly give up an opprotunity to see my baby to have a break like this. If someone where to ask me right now "how was your break?", I'd only be able to give a grin, as I wouldn't know where to start.